What to do if your kids hate ski lessons?
All avid snow lovers will know that as soon as we have kids’ we are dreaming of the day that we will be able to ski with them. There is an indescribable magic to a family ski holiday. The memories made on ski trips can create bonds in even the most difficult times, including any tricky teenage years!
So, what happens when your happy little three year old goes to their first ski lesson and they end up telling you (through their hysterical sobbing) that they do not what to do it? It is the ski-loving parents’ worst nightmare. At BASS Morzine and Les Gets we hate the thought of anyone not enjoying skiing, especially children. Here are our three important points to consider before panicking that your child will never love the sport as much as you do.
1) Empathise with them
Parents can be so keen to share their love for skiing with their children that sometimes they can forget to think about what skiing is like from a small child's perspective. It is an alien world and their senses can be overloaded with all the different things they experience.
Some of the out-of-the-ordinary-things they might experience include
Taking a long car journey
Seeing lots of snow
Staying in a strange place
Riding a gondola
Wearing gloves/helmets/goggles
Hearing a different language
Meeting a strange teacher who looks funny in their suit, googles and helmet.
Wearing boots that they can’t walk in
Finding themselves on skis and not knowing what to do
The list goes on and on...Sometimes all of this unfamiliarity can come to head when they realise that the thing that their parent (the most important person in the world) loves, is weird and hard. It is no wonder that a melt-down ensues.
Having empathy for a child's experience means setting them up to not rush them into 'loving' skiing. This can start at home before the ski holiday...let them try on your helmet and goggles, let them play in their new snowsuit, show them photos or videos of you skiing, talk about the things you love about skiing. When you get to the resort help them become familiar with some of the strange things that might happen, take a ride on the gondola, play in the snow and let them get used to what falling in snow feels like, sit and watch other skiers (especially other children), watch ski classes and help them spot the teacher...essentially take time to see the ski-world afresh through your child’s eyes. This will mean that when your child gets to their ski lesson, they are not focussing on all the many different things they are feeling (itchy ski suit, pinching goggles, heavy helmet etc.) but rather ready to focus on their teacher and their skis.
2) Change the environment
If a child hate's their skiing experience then it is natural to want to get them out of that situation. No matter how disappointing it is to you as a parent, it is awful to see your child unhappy. However, before resorting to this, consider what exactly it is that your child doesn’t like and realise that you have options. An important option to consider is to change the child's learning environment. This can look like,
If your child is in a group lesson, change to a private lesson. Private lessons for small children do not need to last very long (even half an hour can be an option) and this might break through the upset of being in a big class and not understanding what is expected of them.
Change the ski teacher. Just like in all professions ski instructors have their strengths and weaknesses. Some instructors have an expertise in teaching children. It may be that your child cannot get a relationship with their teacher, if this is the case, you can request to change instructor, or you can change to a more child-centred ski school.
Change the ski area. This is an important one. So many parents’ resort to man-handling their small child around the beginners area (think, kids between your knees). Parents usually feel good about this because their kid loves it. This is understandable because your child is loving being with you and is feeding off your enjoyment. However, as soon as you are out of the picture your child will feel all those feelings of unfamiliarity again, they may even feel increased anxiety. This anxiety can come from not having “done” any of the skiing for themselves...they were carried to the magic carpet, held on the carpet, carried between the parents’ legs down the slope and so have no sense of their ability to control their skis. Change the environment for one in which your child can have ownership over their skis, push them along flat ground and let go them so they can slide by themselves, push them up a tiny slope and let them slide down to come to a natural stop without touching them. This may seem like tedious work for a parent but your child will start to trust the skis and begin to enjoy the sensation of sliding.
3) Invest in an excellent ski coach
The final and probably more important thing to do if your child hates skiing is to find an excellent ski instructor. BASS understand that optimal learning is the “process of capturing and mobilizing the imagination of the learner” (DeRobertis, 2017). This definition of learning is so important for children. A good ski instructor will be able to do all of the following things (and many, many more)
They will understand the stage of the child's development, not only from theories of child-development, but also from conversations with you and your child.
They will empathise with your child. They will get down on their level, they will talk clearly and calmly to them, they will show interest in your child's thoughts and feelings, they will be respectful, kind and fun.
They will understand skill-development. An expert ski coach is not developing ski performance they are developing skiing skills. The difference is between developing a child to “ski a red run” to developing a child to use their edges more skilfully (for example to ski parallel). Find a coach who understands this, and your child will never feel out of their depth.
They will be invested in the relationship. They will use coaching skills to create a relationship with your child that will mean your child feels empowered and confident in their skiing ability.
They will use language in a thoughtful way. They will not only use the standard “pizza” and “chips” analogy. They will help your child create a language that they understand and have ownership over. This may look like “monsters teeth gripping” or “tails of the skis farting”...or whatever your child connects with.
There are many more of these points, but the value of a good ski coach is priceless. To see your child be passionate about snowsports is a joy. At BASS we cannot adequately express how important it is to us that your child has a wonderful relationship with all things snowsports. It is one of the best parts of our job and we love the joy that it brings, not only to children but to their families as well.
Lesley Page, BASS Instructor, BASI Trainer and Mum.
DeRobertis, E.M (2017) The Phenomenology of Learning and Becoming. Palgrave Macmillan, NJ.
